


Below The Belt

by mks57



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Humor, It has a Dick Punch...enter at your own peril, Lucy didn't buy Flynn a drink before she damaged goods, She also didn't kiss it better...this is worse than that garbage movie, gird your loins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 12:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17223833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mks57/pseuds/mks57
Summary: Crack Fic for Cold Sass...Set during 1x02. What if in 1865, Lucy did save Abraham Lincoln? Would it make a difference? Would she be heralded a hero or would her team judge her for punching a man in the meat and two veg department?





	Below The Belt

Lucy’s heart pounded in her throat, a cold sweat broke across her skin as this was torture. She was sitting next to Robert Todd Lincoln, the first lady and the President in front of her. History was literally unfolding before her eyes and she knew she couldn’t change a thing. 

She could only save General Grant, she tried to get him out of the room but it failed. Now, she was waiting for Booth to come in. The book she wrote said that Booth should come through door roughly three lines ago. She couldn’t help but wonder where he was.

She looked back to the front and tried to remain outwardly calm, she swallowed wondering if she should have said something earlier about the attack. But as soon as the thought flitted across her mind; she heard the door open.

She turned and was stunned as it was Flynn. Her mouth gaped as time seemed to slow. She couldn’t believe he was here, she didn’t know what to say or do. He seemed just as surprised as her as he stopped. He momentarily lowered his gun as he looked at her incredulously, then something snapped within, like he remembered his purpose.

“NO! MR PRESIDENT!” Lucy shouted, Flynn raised his weapon and stepped forward. He knocked Robert over the head with his gun and pushed the man and chair out of the way. Just as Flynn raised his weapon to shoot President Lincoln, Lucy pulled her arm back and swung a punch right into Flynn’s groin. Hard, just as Amy had taught her to do in the situation she was being attacked by a man. This had to count even if she wasn't being attacked. She even did the weird pull thing that Amy taught would make a grown man faint for extra measure. 

Flynn groaned in pain before he made a sound of unnatural sound for a man but somehow he pushed through the pain. But Robert and The General attacked, the President turned around to join the fray. The commotion was manic, the sound a gunshot rent the air and blood splattered across Lucy’s face and décolletage. She was knocked to ground, she felt people tug on her arms as they pulled her away. Women screaming and voices shouting.

She watched in surprise and relief as Flynn was quickly subdued by the men and knocked unconscious. President Lincoln ordered for Flynn to be taken away. Lucy rose to her feet feeling a little dazed by the results as Lincoln was still alive. The President touched his arm gingerly, his hand coming back with blood. Lucy felt a little woozy at the sight, and the fact his blood was on her.

“Oh my dear.” The First Lady exclaimed in surprise at the mess in their box. “Robert, you’re bleeding.” She said as Robert was bleeding from the side of the head where Flynn clocked him.

“I’ll be fine, Mother.” Robert assured her, he moved to Lucy and steadied her as he held her elbow. “Miss Shakesman, are you injured?” he asked in concern as he looked her over.

“I’m a little shaken.” Lucy said, though her hand did hurt. She wasn’t about to tell anyone that as she watched Abraham Lincoln pick up Flynn’s 21st Century gun. Her stomach rolled in a nauseous manner as she needed to get that gun. It was bad enough a man who should’ve died, was now alive.

“You saved our lives.” Robert said in awe, it was a sentiment shared by all as she had raised the alarm to their intruder.

“Oh no, I didn’t do anything. Mr President, you and the General saved us. I was so scared.” Lucy said, doing her best to play damsel in distress as she didn’t want to be remembered as the woman who dick punched a would-be assassin.

“I saw you punch the fellow … in an unorthodox manner.” Robert struggled for a polite way to say ‘punched and yanked on a 6ft 4 man’s penis and balls’. Lucy was already imagining the jokes at her expense as she literally grabbed her enemy by the balls and made him cry. “before he could commit to his plan.” He said.

“It was purely by instin- “ Lucy stopped as she saw the weird looks she was earning, “I think I need to sit down.” She mumbled.

 

* * *

 

Hours later in the lifeboat,

“I just went for it.” Lucy told them, flustered as she didn’t want to get into the details. She already been celebrated by Robert and the others for her ‘bravery’ though they didn’t talk of what she did. There was talk of her being a hero, but she couldn’t stay as she like Rufus and Wyatt didn’t belong. Wyatt’s injury needed 21st century medical attention.

“You managed to disarm Flynn?” Wyatt asked sceptical.

“Yes… well no, President Lincoln and the men did. I just sort of helped them along. But I couldn’t get the gun.” She said, her one failure was that a 21st century gun was in the past where it could affect the future as it couldn’t be terrible hard to backwards engineer the gun.

“Doesn’t matter, by the time I got to the cells Flynn was gone and the guards unconscious on the ground. Guns were gone too. Man, we were so close to getting rid of him” Wyatt grumbled from his seat.

“What I don’t get is how Lucy disarmed Flynn. Like no offence but he’s a big guy.” Rufus said as he sat at the controls, getting the Lifeboat ready to jump back to the present.

“Yeah, what did you do?” Wyatt asked his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Lucy rolled her eyes as she could never win with the men.

“I punched him, ok?” She asked them, her cheeks burning as she really didn’t want to talk about it.

“You punched Flynn and he just toppled over.” Wyatt stated, his voice dripping with scepticism.

“I work out. I have muscles.” Lucy told him, he levelled her with an incredulous look. “Ok, I punched him in the groin and then I did this pull twist thing that my sister taught but I don't think I did it right.” Lucy said with a thoughtful expression as she was trying to remember her actions but was getting distracted by the memory of what she had been holding onto. The fact she was going to have to face Flynn again, a blush stole across her cheeks. Part of felt like she should give him an apology which seemed just as inappropriate given he was her enemy. But she was soon pulled out her dirty little reverie as both men hissed and made faces of disapproval.

“Oh” Rufus said in sympathy pain.

“Uh, not cool.” Wyatt said as he closed his legs and covered his crotch with his hands as if having empathy pains and needed to protect himself from her.

“Seriously?” Lucy asked them incredulously as they were acting like she punched them in the meat and two veg department.

“It’s never ok to dick punch a guy let alone give them a hand job after. It’s an unspoken rule.” Wyatt told her.

"At least by the guy a drink before you do." Rufus quipped.

“It was not a hand job!” Lucy practically shouted before she took a deep breath and pulled herself together. “This is so stupid, I saved the President like you both wanted and now I’m being judged for how I went about it.” Lucy snapped, she was beginning to really hate her team mates. She couldn’t do anything right in her eyes or she was piece of ass for their perusal. She just hoped these time trips didn’t drag on.

“Yeah, we said save the President not grab a man by the balls. Can we go home already?” Wyatt asked Rufus as he didn’t want to have this conversation anymore. He looked disturbed at being in Lucy's presence which annoyed her given all her hard work had been for naught.

“Yeah, but I hope you washed your hands afterwards before meeting up with us, Nutcracker.” Rufus mocked Lucy. She rolled her eyes as she couldn’t believe the hide on them to tell her how to act.

* * *

 

Half an hour later,

“Nothing changed? At all?” Lucy asked as she and Rufus looked at the computer screen with Denise, Jiya and Connor. She had expected large scale changes to the present. To come back to present that would unrecognisable.

“You said he was shot and killed in the previous time. Well, this says that Abraham Lincoln died from sepsis only three days after surviving an assassination attempt on his life.” Jiya told them.

“So, Lucy felt up Flynn for no good reason.” Rufus said stunned and somewhat disappointed as he had hoped Abraham Lincoln would live a long and healthy life bringing about many reforms to reshape society.

But nothing changed, a few white guys got their hour of fame and Lucy ended up having a high school named after her alias name. So, it was all for nothing.

“Excuse me?” Connor asked as he and the others looked at Rufus weirdly and then at Lucy for confirmation.

“I punched Flynn below the belt." Lucy snapped, the men in the group winced. "Can we stop making it sound like I performed a sexual act. I was trying to stop Flynn, first thing to do when a man is attacking is to go for groin. Everyone knows that.” Lucy grumbled awkwardly as she couldn’t believe after everything they had been through. For her emotional upheaval on knowing she had actively changed history to find out it was for nothing. That Lincoln died before he could effect any real changes, it was somewhat of relief even though it still upset her.

“Flynn still got away.” Denise stated, glad to move back to more relevant topic.

* * *

 

At the same time, in an undisclosed location,

“Thanks.” Flynn grumbled as he took the beer Karl offered him.  He shifted the ice bag on his groin and winced as it still throbbed in pain. He shot Karl a glare as the man chuckled behind his beer. “It’s not funny.” He grouched.

“It kind of is. You got to admit she doesn’t look like the kind of woman to grab a man by the balls.” Karl said before he gave a laugh and sat down on a stool next to him. The mission was a failure but when they came back all was not changed, which had to be considered a partial win. Though Flynn’s injured penis and balls wouldn’t agree.

“She only punched me.” Flynn lied as he still was in shock of the events of the evening. He wasn't going to let his men know Lucy did have by the balls literally and figuratively. All he could think besides his pain was that there was nothing in the Journal about Lucy literally grab onto his balls and try to rip them off. It was not a move he'd expected from her at all.

“Still, you’re all ‘don’t hurt the woman’ but you didn't prepare for when she'd hit you back. I guess next time you should gird your loins.” Karl said, Flynn kicked the man’s stool, Karl tumbled back onto the floor. But some stroke of luck, Karl managed to keep his beer from spilling. The young man laughed, Flynn closed his eyes and wore a pained expression. He was definitely investing in a cup.

 


End file.
